Can’t blog, too busy on Facebook
By hissychick | January 5, 2009
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Pathetic.
I’ll be a much better blogger once we return from Melbourne and I stop drinking wine with my MIL.
In the meantime I will leave you with this quote from A:
“Mummy it’s not fair. You’re the winner but only because you can yell louder than I can”.
Welcome to the fucking fours (three and a half weeks early, but still..)
Topics: (arse)facebook, wine time | 1 Comment »
Partying like it’s 2008
By hissychick | December 31, 2008
Here I am already in my PjJs, considering a cup of chamomile tea rather than a glass of wine and wondering if I will actually be awake at midnight.
The hissychicks have partied hard tonight, having an early dinner at a bowling club where the majority of our dinner companions were octogenarians and unsurprisingly we were the first to bail. A had endured repeated attempts at conversation, and, worse still, requests for kisses from old wrinkly and therefore scary people she had never met before and her coping mechanisms included a complete lack of table manners and the use of mildly blasphemous phrases. E sat in her high chair for the ten nanoseconds it took her to inhale some chicken nuggets before spending the rest of dinnertime climbing up and down the club entrance ramps and steps, her father in tow.
Yep. In keeping with tradition another craptastic NYE. Not quite as bad as my first one with mr hissychick, during which I may or may not have been so drunk by about 10 pm that he was holding back my hair as I vomited and cried as he lied as to my wherabouts when friends and family called, but up there. And certainly nowhere near as shite as some of the ones prior to that, details of which I won’t reveal here lest my beloved husband be lurking…
Bugger it, I’m going to have that glass of sauv blanc and the third piece of chocolate before my cliche ridden new year’s resolutions to ditch the junk and lose some jelly belly kick in tomorrow. Wild times.
Have a great NYE everyone.
Topics: Partypartyparty! | 3 Comments »
And so that was Christmas
By hissychick | December 26, 2008
Just a brief one folks.
Yesterday was on the whole a rather enjoyable day, with the highs* mostly outweighing the lows **. There was lots of delectable food, plenty of time spent with Melbourne family (and whole lot of phone tag with my Sydney based one), the odd tantrum or seven (I will save that for another post) and not nearly enough wine consumption by me (but what I did imbibe was delicious).
Hope you all had a lovely day too.
And just so you know, this post is coming to you courtesy of my new precious, a rather generous Christmas gift from mr hissychick. One day I shall have to post a picture of our little nerd family, husband on his laptop, me on my nifty white netbook, A on her Dora laptop and E on her baby laptop. Hey, it’s better than matching haircuts and clothes. Maybe.
*A excitedly declaring to us that “Santa’s really been here!” as she spied her present sack and marvelled at the mess of crumbs, crumpled serviette, drained milk cup and carrot end (for the reindeers of course) left by the man in red. E unwrapping her very own baby born doll, a sister to A’s “Baby good”.
**A asking why Santa had not brought her the robot she had asked for, which was dealt with via yet another parental lie of Santa not knowing exactly which one A wanted, and requesting that she help pick one out for her birthday instead (truth was I couldn’t find a suitable robot that did not have a weapon of some kind, which I find highly objectionable).
Topics: WWM 08, holiday!celebrate!, the grinch is in the house | 2 Comments »
This post has it all: boob flashing, potty mouth and out and out hypocrisy
By hissychick | December 21, 2008
We’re off to Melbourne tomorrow for sixteen days, and unless mr hissychick Santa is generous enough to bring me one of the netbooks that I have been coveting then my presence online will be at best erratic.
Anyway.
Before I rush off to finish packing far too much useless crap and not enough of what is actually needed I thought I would share some random bits and pieces with you all:
1. Flashing my boobs at a concert isn’t what it used to be.
As part of our pre Christmas celebrations the hissychicks ventured into the big smoke for our annual pilgrimage to see the Wiggles. Yet again the skivvied four put on a fabulous show, and yet again watching how our two very individual children reacted to the performance was a source of much amusement to mr hissychick and I.
A naturally sat through the concert quietly absorbing it all, except to occasionally tell me that it was all a bit loud.
E went right off, jumping up and down on my lap in a frenetic dance to each and every song before having a spectacular meltdown (note to self: do not do the 1pm nap time show again), loudly demanding for boobie and staying put until she passed out in sheer exhaustion.
So yet again I found myself at a Wiggles concert, child popping off the boob resulting in a very unsubtle display of nipple just as I swear the film cameras were panning over our section of the audience.
Wonder if they’ll edit it out?
2. If the kid has me this sussed just shy of four then what the hell am I in for by the time she’s a (gulp) teenager?
A is currently going through an annoying obsession with using toilet words, her favouites being “poo poo” and “ka ka”. Nice. After a long session of potty mouth en route to today’s concert I thought I would do something about it. Here’s how it went:
Me (the plan being to wear the word out): A, that’s it. I am now timing you on my watch and I want you to say “Poo poo” over and over until I say stop.
A (giggling): Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo…..
Me (saying nothing, looking at watch):………
A (questioning look in her eyes): Poo poo poo poo poo poo...(slowing down)…poo poo poo….
Me (avoiding eye contact): Keep going...
A (giggling nervously): Poo poo poo…Mummy,are you tricking me? (Slight pause) I’ve just realised you are tricking me.
Me (choking back laughter): …….
Mr hissychick (no help at all): Hahahahahahahahaha!
On the way home A decided to use “kaka”.
Me (sighing): OK A, you know what to do….start saying it…
A (scowling): I don’t want to, I’m sick of it.
Me (exasperated): Good. Now keep on saying it.
A(huffing): Ka ka ka...(pause, you can hear the neurons firing)..but Mummy, I’m not saying kaka, I’m saying car.
Me: …..
Mr hissychick (helping as usual, snorting with laughter): She’s got you there.
It’s all his fault.
3. I am such a hypocrite
Many moons ago I posted an anti Facebook rant.
So it probably is of no surprise to you to find out that I have now signed up. A friend of mine finally wore me down, pointing out that it is a rather lazy good way for people to keep in touch.
In a moment of weakness, I caved. And I’m already sucked in because I’m already wondering about my nigel not enough friends status. How positively juvenile.
Once I stop sulking I’m going to give it a go. I have switched on most of the highest privacy settings, switched off the email alerts -how freaking annoying are they- and I most certainly have not included my blog addy in my profile, retaining an air of mystery and all that* . To think that I don’t actually have to email anyone anymore, Facebook
will alert them every single time I post the inanest of drivel. Wee hee.
I am so pathetic.
Well that about wraps it up for now folks. If I don’t check in between now and Chrissy day I just wanted to wish you all a very merry one.
*but if you want to be my friend just email me…no stop that hissy! It must be the zits transporting me back to the school yard…
Topics: Boobing on, hi ho A is on the go, internerds ahoy | 4 Comments »
Beyond the pale
By hissychick | December 19, 2008
I was that mother today.
The one who missed her eldest daughter’s performance in the end of year Christmas concert and initially did not realise it.
The mother who then saw some footage with her baby girl anxiously scanning the crowd for her beloved mummy and daddy.
The mother who had to put on a bright smile and lie to her daughter, telling her that of course we were there, we were just up the back.
The mother who was running late because she was catching up with a long time friend who has just returned to Australia for the first time in two years and so didn’t carefully read the party program and brushed off her husband’s exhortations to hurry up.
The mother who that morning, had been so awful to her child because she was irritated by her innocent almost four year old Christmas enthusiasm because she was rushing around and worried about-get this-being late.
The mother who is sitting here, tears streaming down her face because under the “What makes you happy?” question in her beloved child’s portfolio the answer was “Mummy”.
I am pond scum.
Topics: Silly mummy, WWM 08 | 6 Comments »
Out damned spot(s)
By hissychick | December 18, 2008
My face and shoulders are blooming, albeit not in a very attractive way. My old nemesis, acne vulgaris, has suddenly descended in a pustacular fashion, and I am none too pleased about it.
I am thirty two, for dog’s sake, far too old for this teenage shit.
An anti-androgenic pill is obviously out for now, seeing as miss E still loves her boobie at the ripe old age of eighteen months old (today!).
However I really do need to get my pimply self to my GP, as along with the zits I have been putting up with a few other vague but annoyingly persistent symptoms such as fatigue, mood swings (who me? never), and weakness and numbness in my hands and feet especially in the morning. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget severe ovulation pain and bloating. Thanks to Dr Google, I am wondering if I am starting to develop PCOS.
Unless it’s my thyroid or iron levels. Again.
Either way I best put down the chocolate/ice cream/ fun festive treats and start cranking up a high protein/low GI diet and see if that makes a difference. Apparently it does for teenage pizza face boys, so why not me?
Meh. Time to get back to wrapping Christmas presents for A’s two closest friends. We are all meeting up for a celebratory post Christmas concert/end of daycare for the year milkshake tomorrow afternoon.
Even if it’s not low GI, it will be high on the parental gooeyness at seeing your child share some seasonal delight with her mates scale.
Topics: Ewwwww, holiday!celebrate! | 2 Comments »
Santa’s cutest elves
By hissychick | December 16, 2008
Go on, admit it. They totally are.
Topics: I'm a Mum, cliche alert | 6 Comments »
’tis the season and all that humbug
By hissychick | December 12, 2008
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, or so the song goes. All around me are festive souls busily wrapping thoughtfully selected gifts, sending out touching messages and gorgeous pictures of their impeccably dressed children to numerous friends and relatives, whipping up tasty treats by the dozen in the kitchen.
And then there’s me.
My shopping thus far has consisted mostly of a few frantic clicks of the mouse and an hour’s speed shopping in a mere two stores after I serendipitously fluked a parents with pram parking spot this morning at our nearest major shopping centre while A is at daycare and E was happy to amuse herself with a free balloon (BAALOOON!!! BAALOON!!) and a large supply of arrowroot bikkies.
All gifts will be popped into $2 bags with the exception of a few poorly wrapped bits and pieces for the kids who care more about the sound of ripping paper than aesthetic appeal.
On Christmas Eve I will get the guilts and send a group email with a photo of the kids in which at least one child will have hair hanging in their eyes/ eyes shut/a scowl or tears/ mismatched clothing.
My festive food preparation has thus far consisted of a hastily thrown together fruit platter for yesterday’s mother’s group party, and silly me didn’t even include any vodka laced watermelon for those who were alternating between mad sprints to prevent certain toddlers from jumping off decks/plunging down stairs/ripping down Christmas decorations and rocking in a foetal position in the corner trying to block out the wall of noise emanating from a large group of sugar hyped almost four year olds (i.e. me).
Don’t get me wrong. I love Christmas when it comes to the kids, their buzz of excitement and anticipation is rather infectious and all the silly yet clever questions about Santa that I am inundated with four thousand times a day are rather amusing.
It’s the underlying pressure that gets to me, that little voice of guilt reminding me that I should be doing everything with a greater degree and skill and enthusiasm than I can muster.
Oh fuck it. Martha Stewart I am not, nor was I one of those little girls obsessed with making the title pages of their school books all pretty and sparkly. The term social butterfly most certainly does not apply to me (is there a term for the girl at the party engaged in some witty repartee with a small group of like minded souls, a wicked glint in her eye and a drink in
her hand?)
Time to hit the cooking sherry.
Topics: the grinch is in the house, woman of (non)ambition | 4 Comments »
“Mummy where was I before I was born and exist(er)ed?”
By hissychick | December 11, 2008
I am so waving the white flag right now.
Topics: hi ho A is on the go | 2 Comments »
Is it the E word, the A word or the D word?
By hissychick | December 9, 2008
Can you guess what I’m talking about?
(Hint: it’s not my two rugrats.)
Sigh.
Topics: moody blues | 2 Comments »